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We present new optical and near-infrared (NIR) photometry and spectroscopy of the Type IIP supernova (SN), SN 2004et. In combination with already published data, this provides one of the most complete studies of optical and NIR data for any Type IIP SN from just after explosion to +500d. The contribution of the NIR flux to the bolometric light curve is estimated to increase from 15 per cent at explosion to around 50 per cent at the end of the plateau and then declines to 40 per cent at 300d. SN 2004et is one of the most luminous IIP SNe which has been well studied and characterized, and with a luminosity of logL = 42.3erg/s and a ⁵⁶Ni mass of 0.06±0.04M_☉, it is two times brighter than SN 1999em. We provide parametrized bolometric corrections as a function of time since explosion for SN 2004et and three other IIP SNe that have extensive optical and NIR data. These can be used as templates for future events in optical and NIR surveys without full wavelength coverage. We compare the physical parameters of SN 2004et with those of other well-studied IIP SNe and find that the kinetic energies span a range of 10⁵⁰-10⁵¹erg. We compare the ejected masses calculated from hydrodynamic models with the progenitor masses and limits derived from pre-discovery images. Some of the ejected mass estimates are significantly higher than the progenitor mass estimates, with SN 2004et showing perhaps the most serious mass discrepancy. With the current models, it appears difficult to reconcile 100d plateau lengths and high expansion velocities with the low ejected masses of 5-6M_☉ implied from 7-8M_☉progenitors. The nebular phase is studied using very late-time Hubble Space Telescope photometry, along with optical and NIR spectroscopy. The light curve shows a clear flattening at 600d in the optical and the NIR, which is likely due to the ejecta impacting on circumstellar material. We further show that the [Oi] 6300, 6364Å line strengths in the nebular spectra of four Type IIP SNe imply ejected oxygen masses of 0.5-1.5M_☉.